Saturday, August 29, 2009

Sometimes I am white trash

Yes, I took my 2 year old child to the liquor store today.

Yes I got many dirty looks from a crack head that was also buying liquor.

Yes, there was a giant display in said liquor store about talking to your children about the danger of alcohol.

Yes, I took one and let him play with it on the way home.

And yes, the only problem I have with this situation is that I forgot my camera to document everything that happened.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Dear "The Hoff" You need to be assassinated!

Couldn't someone have done this in Germany right before the Berlin wall was torn down?  Then there would have been two things to celebrate!

Thanks Jessie for the help!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Nice cankles Hilary Duff!

That's it... We're going to Latvia!

It's a hospital themed restaurant.  Everything is served in flasks and syringes and stuff.  You can even be put in a straight jacket.  Totally cool and totally creepy! 

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Taste so good make you wanna slap yo mama!!

Are we behind the times.... we didn't even know "taste so good, makes ya wanna slap yo mama" was a real saying!!!
We wish we were black.
Sincerely, Biz and Liz (drunk)

Candy Condos???

Apparently these are condos in Tokyo for senior citizens. I think they look like candy and if they weren't located in Japan, I may try to dress up like an old lady and sneak in.

Makes me really want to eat spaghetti on a boat!!!

Biz and Liz vote "Geo Tracker" vehicle of the month

Someday not only will we have matching shoes, but also have matching Geo Trackers!! They need to bring back Super Market Sweep so we can go on and try to win a pair of these adorable matching cars!!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Biz and Liz will have a pair of Christian Louboutin's by the end of this summer!!!

HELLOOOOO!! Aren't these amazing!!!!

Really, Madonna?

Dear Madonna,

We all Know that you are the material girl, but do you really need to be seen in this get-up?  Not only is your outfit ugly as sin, but women over fifty should not be seen in this.  Shouldn't you be wearing something more virtuous since you are now dating Jesus? I just wanted to let you know that you should stop trying to be famous because everyone prefers you like you were back in the 80s.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Does this sound as amazing to anyone else?

Each year the Mozzarella Company of Dallas makes these festive rounds of spicy spreadable cheese for the holiday season.  Seasoned with chilis and topped with jalapenos, the cheeses are called Christmas Cheese and have become immensely popular for parties and holiday gatherings.  The cheese can also be used for appetizers, so for a recipe suggestion from the Mozzarella Company click below.

What is wrong with me?

Here I am on a nice Thursday and all I can seem to do is watch this wonderful piece of art.  I remember being it being cool back in the day (take that pun Mr. Freeze) but now it is one of the biggest crap-fests I have seen in a long time.  How in the world did this cast continue to make movies.  Isn't this one of those films that ruin peoples careers?  

I can't judge it too harshly though, cause here I am blogging about it, and still watching it.  Damn you Batman and the weird fascination I have for you , DAMN YOU!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Never get your lunch stolen again

The Anti-Theft Lunch Baggie

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dear Paris Hilton: Get a new body

...cause the one you currently have is grossing us out!! It's a close call between you and Madonna for the creepiest body award, but she has an excuse: She's old!
You're a millionaire so we know you can afford plastic surgery. We're just not sure if there is any surgical procedure that will help out with your bony knees, awkward body shape, or for those huge ass feet???

p.s. you have one weird eye that always looks closed... what's up with that shit?

This guy is a genius

Glad my clothes aren'y creepy faces

the weird thing is, I saw this on some other blog, and stared at the pictures for quite a while before I realized what was going on. So Liz, I hope your not retarded like me and can see the faces right away.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

This is for Jason

amazing, and possibly delicious

Jay, If you are reading this.... How awesome is this idea?? If you buy me some, you will never have to worry about me getting cheese chunks in your peanut butter again!

BB 11

Can I just tell you how much I love Big Brother!! I can not wait to watch tonights episode, ahhhhh!!! Its funny how 3 nights a week is not even enough for me. I hope Jeff wins... and then reads our blog and decides he wants to make sweet love to both Biz and Liz.
P.S. Could this picture of Jesse and Russell be more gay?

Fuse Ball... not just for boys

I wish I thought of this. I loved Barbies when I was a kid.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Sorry to our blog readers....

I may not be able to blog for a while because I am going to be spending several days waiting in line to buy the new twilight dolls.  See you in line fellow Fan-pires!

After I get them, I will be shoving stakes into their tiny little plastic hearts.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Tyra, thanks in advance for ruining Gossip Girl

Why would you even think to ruin my show Tyra?  And why are you wearing this on the set?  And why do you look so old and unattractive?  And why won't you go away already?

Monday, August 10, 2009

Dear Rumer Willis...

Dear Rumer Willis:

I know that there are many reason why people feel that plastic surgery is not an option for them.  You, however, have no excuse.  I will happily sent up a fund for you in order to get your giant chin reduced.  It just needs to happen.  Chins like yours should not exist and I am sure there is a plastic surgeon just waiting to get his hands on you.

If you do for some reason decide that this is not an option for you, may I suggest creating some giant scandal that your mom and Jay Leno had an affair and that is why your chin has its own zip code.


Friday, August 7, 2009

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Let's Dagger!!

Okay I stole this from the out for stardom blog...
“Daggering” is a term which has recently become popular in the Jamaican entertainment industry. It is commonly used as a noun or verb, bearing spellings such as: dagga, dagger, and daggar. The term refers to the engagement of a man and woman in aggressive dance imitating sex–both man and woman attempting to show their sexual prowess. There are a slew of songs and activities celebrating Daggering.

Monday, August 3, 2009