Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween, Jersey Shore style

Vinnie as Snooki, a little funny but Ronni as Pauly D? Really?
Snooki as some kind of pickle princess. She could have gone waaaaay sluttier with this.
And, Pauly D as Justin Bieber. This I think is pretty dang funny.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Wig-less Kim!! Liz and Jessie this is for you

Punk Paca

Ah, fuck. This made me laugh really hard.

I have no idea why I even hit play on this video of cats Charlie and Spike, who have myotonia congenita or “fainting goat” syndrome but wow, I'm sure glad I did. I don't know if I'm tired or if my mini marathon of The Kardashians has made me crazy. Whatever the case, I'm probably going to watch this video a few hundred more times.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Dane needs this

So I can come over and play in it.
To bad it's $118.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I Love this Halloween Costume

The best "family photos" ever

Swarovski crystal Mr Potato Head
Perfect bodies duvet cover
A ziptie ring
Hamburger in a can
Crayon rings.

This websites sells the raddest crap. And I need it all. These are a few of my favorites.

Disney princesses at pop stars

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I want Amy Atlas to decorate my next party candy table

Check out the rest of her shit here:

Wendy's SoNmNmNmN

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

If I only had a herb garden,,,,

these would be mine!

Who like Pac Man this much?

Fancy fact: Pac Man was originally going to be called Puck Man, but was changed in the states because of the fear that people would change the P to an F when vandalizing.

I hope when I die, I get a cool tombstone.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Dear Matt Paxton from Hoarders...

Dear Matt,

I freaking love you. You sir, have some major balls. Dealing with Hoarders everyday can't be east. Neither can wading through piles and piles of dead cats and excrement. But the real reason I love you so much is that you aren't afraid to tell it like it is. Forget about all the psychological BS that doctors try and pull on these wack-jobs. Sometimes that degree and those rules can get in the way. You have no problem yelling and shaking some sense in these people and I love it!

Come on A&E, kick out the doctors and therapists, and let Matt either have his own show, or else be on every episode!

I want a record clock


"Jersey Shore's" "Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi has become synonymous with the poof, an unearthly orange glow and regretting who she made out with the previous night - and now various fashion houses reportedly want distance from the reality star - so they're sending her free bags... from their competitors!

McNuggets are Delicious so I don't care.

This is the mechanically separated chicken that makes our nuggets.

The entire chicken is pressed through a sieve (bones, guts, etc), and the end result is the pink, goop-like substance

There's more: because it's crawling with bacteria, it will be soaked in ammonia. Then, because it will taste gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The best 23 dollars I've ever spent...

Well, I went to get my haircut this afternoon by my usual hairdresser Dawnielle. I've been needing a cut for a while and didn't realize why I waited do long until I found out it was fate.

Now Saturday evening, I went out with my husband and his best friend. A few hours and many drinks into it, I was ready to leave and took a cab ride home.

Jason and Aaron stayed. When I woke up, neither of them could quite piece together their evening. I now know how Jason made it home.

Dawnielle saw some crazy man stumbling down the Jack in the Box alley screaming for someone to buy him food. She promptly realized that the drunk man was none other that my husband. Being the good Samaritan that she is, she told his drunk ass to get in the car and that she would drive him home. He introduced himself, and she told him that she was his hairdresser too. To which he responded, "I buzz my own hair lady."

He handed her a fifty to buy him a couple of Jumbo Jacks and then reminded her not to steal his money. Food in hand and a long drive home (because he gave her several wrong directions), you would think a simple "thank you" would suffice.

But no, he proceeded to tell her the rules and etiquette to tipping. Then, proceeded to tell her about how Eminem is the best rapper alive. Dawnielle's niece did not agree and said it was TuPac. Jason replied with "Um, he died like a million years ago."

After 29 minutes of hearing him yammer on about nothing in particular, Jason parted ways with my hairdresser by freestyling his own rap.

Now I only wish I knew where Aaron ran off to that evening. Maybe my manicurist knows.

In conclusion, I have now realized my husband turns into a full blown creeper when he's been drinking. So next time you see someone screaming in the Jack in the Box parking lot for food, look the other way cause he's probably had one to many surfers on acid.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Elegant Nails in Shoreline, I love you

I started going to Elegant nails because it was across the street from my old apartment and I desperately needed a fill. Well, as it turns out Elegant Nails has the most incredible acrylic and gel nails ever. Not only are they great nails, fast at turning them out, and cheap as hell but they do the best ghetto designs, I’ve seen. Anyways, about 6 months ago, I let the cutest little Asian woman talk me into a leg wax. I have been waxing my legs for years, and am used to paying $60 to $75. Yikes. I have destroyed several bathrooms attempting to wax my own legs (damn being broke). So, as my nails were drying I was escorted to a small room for my leg wax without knowledge of costs. The room is ugly yellow and kinda grimey looking, but what do you expect for an Asian nail salon in Shoreline. They also lay newspaper down on the bed, so they don't get their sheets waxy. In the end, not only did I get the fastest, most meticulous leg wax ever, but afterwards I received a mini leg massage and the manager honked my boob and in her funny little Asian voice told me I was beautiful and asked if my “they were real”. I was waxed from my toes (no joke) to my thigh-butt crevice. I didn’t know my hair grew to my butt... its fine! After the wax, they pulled out the tweezers to do a final once over and make sure EVERY SINGLE HAIR had been removed; now that’s efficiency at its finest. So, as I am getting ready to head out, I pull out my debit card and she tells me what I owe her….. HELLO!!! A full set with a design on each nail and a full leg wax for only $55. Yes Please!!! OH MY GOD, I’m pretty sure I tipped her like $35 I was so excited. Moral of the story is that I will always and forever come back to this specific salon for all of my wax and nail needs.

Now, since I have been going there, an ownership change has gone down, once maybe twice, so I have been charged a different price every time, BUT, I have never paid more the $40 for a full leg wax. And I have received nothing but the BEST customer service at each visit. I would recommend to anyone in the Seattle Everett area to experience Elegant Nails on 15th Ave NE right near the Simpsons taco truck. They know how to do it gangster. I love it.

Origami Snacks

Finally, carmel apples that I can eat... Bite Size!!

Poor Rex Dog


Let's do it

A History of Rap


This is a bartender at my works' band. AND my girl Leigh is in the video. Its like she's famous. Holler.