Thursday, July 1, 2010

Dear Danielle...

Now I realize that not everyone is into the Real Housewives of New Jersey. And to those people I say, you're missing out on what could possibly be the biggest train-wreck of a woman that has ever existed! Watch it people, buy it on DVD, download it illegally if you must, but you need to get in on this!

To Danielle:

Danielle, the moment I sit down to watch another episode of Real Housewives, I am absolutely positive that you can not get any crazier, and every time the hour show is over, I sit and stare at the TV trying to figure out if what I just saw really happened.

Yes it did just happen. Let me give you some advice Danielle, in case you find this blog during your daily narcissistic Google search of yourself.

Getting upset and screaming "NEVER CALL ME CRAZY" at someone after they call you crazy, means you are crazy.

Talking to your priest in hopes that he will gossip with you about the people you hate, probably not the best idea.

You do not need a bodyguard to go to the grocery store or dentist. Actually you don't need a body guard period! You aren't that famous and nobody is going to harm you. If you feel like having an entourage with you, hire the bodyguard to protect other people from your craziness.

If you aren't an EX crackhead, prostitute, child kidnapping, whore, then how do you know so many "EX" cons?

Just when I think that there is no way my heart can get any colder towards you, it does. How can you not realize how insane you are. I know when I am behaving irrationally, and I will even admit it from time to time, but you actually have no clue that you are psychotic, do you?

With that being said, although I can't stand you and the world would be a better place without you in it, I am go glad that I get to watch you on Monday night, talk about you're off-the-wall antics on Tuesday though Sunday and then watch you again.

Love Liz

No comments: