Friends with Benefits

According to urbandictonary.com

1. Friends by day, sex partners by night.

I love hairy animals

That weave on horse 2 is off the hook.

Shhhh

I wish we were as cool as Lily Allen, Rihanna, and Lindsey Lohan :(

Searching for vintage ads

these are my favorites

We are taking a vote, and Liz, I need ya on my side

My boyfriend wants to shave his head, and I want him to cut his hair like this Christian Ranaldo famous soccer player dude. What do you think?
ed note. hubba hubba this dude is a fox

Who you gonna call?

GHOSTBUSTERS 3!!!!
The original squad of ectoplasmic specialists is back -- Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson, and Sigourney Weaver.
Aykroyd says he believes the movie will move forward but that he has also learned that "at any second everything could blow up." The details of story are still in play, but Aykroyd said he's hoping for a five-member "new generation" team with several female members. "I'd like it to be a passing-of-the-torch movie. Let's revisit the old characters briefly and happily and have them there as family but let's pass it on to a new generation."

Yeah Tacoma!

LAKEWOOD, Wash. -- Rocks that smashed into more than a dozen cars and injured one person in Lakewood overnight were dropped from a railroad trestle onto Interstate 5 as part of a stripping game, reported KIRO 7 Eyewitness News.

An infrared camera on a state patrol plane spotted the rock throwers, 18-year-old Amanda Madison and 23-year-old Joshua Sizemore. Even though it was dark, the camera captured the heat of their bodies.

Troopers said they found a dozen rocks in Sizemore's jacket pocket. He denied tossing them at first, said they were for "weight lifting," then finally admitting throwing them in a game called "sex me."

Police said the woman and man were in their underwear when they were arrested.

The rocks -- dropped from a trestle north of Bridgeport and south of Highway 512 -- damaged 14 vehicles, including a State Patrol car and a cab, causing $10,000 in losses.

"I never expected it to happen here, but I was scared. I've never been so scared in my life," said Gwendolyn Harris. Harris' taxi was hit and her passenger was hurt by a rock that went through the windshield and hit his arm.

Investigators learned that Madison and Sizemore were playing a bizarre game in which clothes were removed each time a headlight was broken.

"I'm not quite sure whether the game was if they spotted a headlight off in a car that a piece of clothing had to come off, or if you actually hit a car with an object that a piece of clothing had to come off, but seems as though there was a game of strip poker going on," said deputy prosecutor Phil Sorensen.

Police said it was lucky that the rocks didn't kill anyone, given the height of the railroad bridge and the speed of the cars below on I-5.

Troopers said possible charges include second-degree assault and malicious mischief, both felonies.

According to court documents, Madison acknowledged having a "few sips of alcohol." She's now being held in jail on $50,000 bail. Sizemore's bail was set at $40,000.

Eh Liz, I found your next tattoo

it's hittin, fer sure.

Dungeons an Dragons meets 10 foot blond whore for Album cover

I can't confirm this is the official new album cover for Brooke Hogan's new album, but I can however confirm she is half man. Gross.
Dear Brooke Hogan, please go away.

I really like the knork

Why the hell would you name your restaurant Fatty's?

Do you think that this woman knew what was going on?

I was just trying to find a clip from "the Soup"

A Georgia man has been sentenced to 100 years in prison for poisoning his children to extort money from Campbell's Soup Co.

William Cunningham was sentenced Thursday after a jury found him guilty of five counts of cruelty to children and two counts of aggravated assault, said Kellie Perry, a clerk at the Clayton County Superior Court.

The girl and boy, then 18 months old and 3 years old, were hospitalized after Cunningham fed them soup tainted with prescription drugs and lighter fluid.

On one occasion, authorities said he used the prescription drugs Prozac and Amitriptyline - both used to treat depression - to poison the children.

Cunningham was arrested in March 2006. According to prosecutors, the former dump truck driver called Campbell in January 2006 and threatened to sue the company because its soup was contaminated. He pleaded guilty in 2007 to a federal charge of making false claims against the company.

Authorities said there was no evidence the soup was tainted when it was purchased. A family member said the children may suffer lifelong respiratory problems after swallowing the poisoned soup.

The children's mother, Rhonda Cunningham, filed for divorce during the case.

lynnwood made the news!!

LYNNWOOD, Wash. – A 78-year-old woman arrested last month for allegedly beating her 84-year-old husband because she believed he cheated on her several times during their marriage was charged Thursday with assault. Prosecutors said she hit him with a bowl, pipe and carpet sweeper. He suffered broken ribs, pelvis and a wrist.
One witness told police the woman admitted kicking her husband three times in the groin in the last six months because she believed he had an affair 35 years ago.
The woman was jailed on $70,000 bail.

It's that time of year!

Yes, I know that it is a little early to start looking for Halloween but I am alread panic mode about finding a costume.  Here is my favorit so far.  It's Cops.  It has the police officer and two pixilized faces.  I think its funny.

Ebay word search "pickle"

Well, you can buy 20 expired coupons, a mini barrell the size of a penny, an actual pickle flavored popsicle, or a colf club with a pickle at the end. 

Just when you think no one is watching...

Google search "Crazy Man"

Um, the top photo totally freaks me out.  The bottom guy I actually have a story about.  Call me Bizo and I will tell you!

My new outfit...

Hey Liz, here it is... do you love it or what?

google image search "camel toe"

I am so hungry, and my boyfriend is asleep

and this is making it hard to function. I want to go steal a baby and then stop for a bite at Azteca. Should I wake him or just do it on my own? I'm really hungry...

Snaggle Puss

Time to vent about work:

I work in a huge building with hundreds of employees. For some ungodly reason 90 percent of all the people I work with are morbidly obese. Now, I drink water all day long, so I have to pee frequently, no biggie right? WRONG! I dread the work restrooms.

At least once a day I walk into a stall that smells so bad I wanna barf. This isnt a normal shitty bathroom smell, this is the one and only stench of fat sweaty vag. It is the single worst smell I have ever smelled in my entire life. When I see a large and in charge fatty coworker exiting the bathroom stall, I do anything and everything it takes to aviod that specific stall like the plauge!!!

I can not comprehend what the hell could possibly be going on down there to creat such a foul smell to come from your hoohaa. It's a sacred area.

Even worse, the smell lingers, so when I walk out of the stall I have to worry about the next person in line thinking it's me with the big fat funky cooter. It's bullshit.

Liz, why haven't we done the alfy's pizza making tour?

www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Found this rad blog www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com and had a good laugh. The first pictures is obviously the best. What the fuck was that pregnant bitch thinking???

Man tried to hire prostitute for his son, 14

LONDON (Reuters) – A man who tried to hire a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son's virginity as a present was spared jail by a court on Friday.

The Polish national took the boy out in his car and allowed him to pick out the prostitute, who was standing at the side of the road in the red-light district of Nottingham.

But the 42-year-old father was arrested because the teenager had chosen an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court heard.

The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was handed a 10-month prison sentence, suspended for a year, after he admitted a charge of trying to solicit a woman to have sex with a child, the Press Association reported.

The court heard that the father, who came to Britain eight years ago, was arrested last July during an undercover operation by the city's vice squad.

Prosecutor Adrian Harris said the man and his son had approached the undercover officer whose code name was Sarah and beckoned her over .

He asked "Sarah" how much it would cost for her to have sex with his son and they agreed on a 20 pound fee. However, when the car pulled over, the man was arrested by plainclothes police officers.

"The boy said that they had driven past the girl and his dad pointed to her and said 'will she do?'" Harris said.

"He said 'yes' and they had turned round. He said his dad did this because he was still a virgin and he was taking care of that for him."

Judge Jonathan Teare said he would spare the father jail because of his excellent character and that he believed he did not mean any harm to his son.

"You have a duty of care to your son and that is to look after his moral welfare, not as you might think to break him in to the ways of sex through a prostitute," he said.

The court was told the boy would continue to live with his father.

Babies freak me out, too

There was some article that went along with this photo, but it looked boring. The picture, however, makes me smile.

I WANT THESE EARRINGS SOOO BAD!!!

These are Real Octopus Tentacles cast in Sterling Silver!

My dinner on Tuesday

I thought the cookies would be good, but they were super gross.  It's a good thing I had the giant bottle of wine to wash it down!

A little bragging time

God, I am such a good mom!  I let my two year old son ride my nephew like a horse.  And instead of stopping it, I take pictures.  Oh yeah, his face looked like this a couple of days ago, just a black eye and some bruising and scrapes.

Did I mention it's not easy?

Watch it!

One of my new favorite shows!  I love having HBO!  I can't stop watching it.  It's called In Treatment and each episode is a new patient.  My favorite is Walter, he is on every Thursday!

I found my new career...

I am pretty sure this was what I was put on the earth to do!  I love segways!

I can't stop google image searching for tiny stuff

PHONE NUMBER MAGIC MATH TRICK.

[Grab a calculator - you won't be able to do this one in your head...]

1. Key in the first three digits of your 7-digit phone number (NOT the area code)

2. Multiply by 80;

3. Add 1;

4. Multiply by 250;

5. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number;

6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again;

7. Subtract 250;

8. Divide number by 2.

What you have is your phone number...

Disneyland, here we come!

I sure am hungry for the world's smallest meal.

She looks like a drug addict in this picture

Daisy De La Hoya was picked up by paramedics yesterday for a "possible overdose." Except she didn't want to go down without a fight and proceeded to beat the living shit out of EMTs.

TMZ says "A source close to the situation says friends called 911 after they heard Daisy making strange noises in her friend's Hollywood Hills home.When firefighters and medics came to the house, sources tell us Daisy was acting "crazy" -- yelling, screaming and thrashing around. It took multiple emergency personnel to get Daisy into the ambulance.We're told Daisy is currently receiving treatment at a Los Angeles area hospital."

Eh, I watched one and a half episodes of her show, and I'm already over it. pfft.