Dear Kelly Clarkson; You aren't cool anymore, so stop trying so hard.

Dear Kelly:

I know you are trying really hard to keep your career going strong, but you know what?  Everyone wants you to go away instead.  Let's admit it, you've put on a couple of pounds and your last few records haven't done so well.  You can only call yourself "The original American Idol" for so long.  You have no style and since you aren't going to rehab or showing your tits to everyone when your drunk, people don't care about you.

Tell you what Kelly, adopt a baby from a foreign country or develop a pill addiction and then I will reassess how I feel about you.

Love,

Liz

Thank you people magazine!!!!!!

Seems that Jimmy Fallon finally got his way - there is a Saved by the Bell Reunion. However, you can't always get everything you want and this time Fallon didn't. The big reunion actually took place as a large spread in the most recent PEOPLE magazine. The whole gang was there ready and willing to answer questions about where they've been, what they've done and who they've done it with. That is, all except Dustin Diamond, aka Screech. Seems after starring in his own sex tape and owing back taxes to the tune of $14,000 good old Screechie boy didn't want to make any kind of public appearance - especially in such a well-read magazine as PEOPLE. There's also a rumor going around that the rest of the crew wouldn't agree to pose for the spread if DD was involved. Which story do you believe?

Thanks Wal-Mart bakery

Some people that work here had a going away party the other day for a woman that is leaving.
One of the supervisors called a Walmart and ordered the cake. he told them to write: “best wishes Suzanne” and underneath that write “we will miss you”. here’s the cake that was delivered.

which condiment packet is your favorite?

go to this website to see them all!!!
condiment page<

not a dildo?

Do you have the same problem with your bananas as we do? You pack a banana for lunch, but the time you get to the office, it's banged up and bruised from the bumpy ride in your bag or briefcase. Well now you can protect your banana with the Banana Bunker!

Cakesicles

Cakesicles! now you can make your own popsicle-shaped mini cakes on sticks, thanks to Norpro's Cakesicle Pan, which accommodates 8 healthy sized cakes at a time. But the fun really begins after they're baked: they're super-fun to decorate; you can put frosting on all sides; and since they're on a stick, you can eat them while walking. No fork and plate holding you down.

wacky baby names:

1. Kal-el Coppola (Son of actor Nicolas Cage)

2. Audio Science (Son of actress Shannyn Sossaman)

3. Bluebell Madonna (Daughter of Singer Geri Halliwell)

4. Daisy Boo (Daughter of chef Jamie Oliver)

5. Pilot Inspektor (Son of actress Beth Riesgraf and actor Jason Lee)

6. Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (Daughter of television presenter Paula Yates and Singer Michael Hutchence)

7. Dixie Dot (Daughter of television presenter Anna Ryder Richardson)

8. God'Iss Love Stone (Daughter of Singer Lil'Mo)

9. Jermajesty (Son of Singer Jermaine Jackson)

10. Apple (Daughter of actress Gwyneth Paltrow and singer Chris Martin)

Dear drunk me while texting: your awesome!!!

me Abe Liz raced past a car spree speed checker. And I can in 12 miles per hour and Liz can only 8.

We need to get our nails done ASAP!!!

food art, makes me happy and hungry

Dear Tongue Rings: It's not 1992 anymore

AHHHH!! Now that is 2009 all tongue rings should be extinct. Just because you went through that rebellious teen phase and pierced your tongue at 17 to piss your mom off, does not make it acceptable to now be 30 and still have it pierced. I HATE it!!! It is so gross and makes you look so stupid... And gay! and fine if your gay that's cool, but I don't want to know you if your gay and have a pierced tongue. It wasn't cool 5 years ago, it wasn't even cool 10 years ago when people said it was cool. If you have your tongue pierced, please take it out now. You look fucking retarded. No one gives a shit that your tongue ring is white gold, or glows in black light, or has an dope 8 ball on the end up it. In fact that just gives people like Liz and I more reason to wish you would die. Unless your tongue ring spills vodka into your mouth once an hour or cures cancer I don't want to know you.

As if the movie didn't suck enough...

Now they created even more crap I don't want to see!

Why?

I get it.  Titanic was a huge blockbuster hit.  But who has seen it more than once?  Who really even liked it?  Now they are making it 3-D.  Why?  I am sorry but I think this is a stupid idea and I hope no one goes to see it.

Sorry Titanic, but my heart will not go on forever for you!

I'm starving

and I really wish I had this delicious Rubik's Cube Sandwich!!! yum.

How old is she??

I always thought Lindsey was somewhere near my age. but yo, she looks more like she is closer to my moms age lately. what the hell happened to her? Apparently cocaine and lesbianism cause you to age 5 times faster then normal??? barf.

and...um...so...like...um...yeah

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

if you haven't already seen it

My day...

I am the only one at work. All of the doctors are onvacation and I am here answering the phones and dealing with morons. There is a HUGE sign on the door saying we are closed and to come back Monday. Does that stop anyone, no they waltz on in and ask stupid questions.

Customer walks in

Me: Hi how are today?

Customer: Good, is Bill Jr. in today?

Me: (thinking in my head, didn't you see the giant sign when you walked in?) No all three doctors are on vacation, Robb will be back on Monday, and Bill Sr. and Bill Jr. won't be back until Wednesday.

Customer: Oh, Bill Jr.'s not here? What about Robb?

Me: No, he'll be back on Monday.

Customer: Oh, so what doctor is in today?

Me: No one, just me.

Customer: So I can't be seen today?

Me: Nope, Monday is the first day you can be seen

Customer: What about tommorow?

Me: No, Monday.

Customer leaves. Reapeat this exact same situation about 3 more times in person and about 30 over the phone and you have my day.

I also peed with the bathroom door open at work just for fun!

R.I.P. you stupid dog

Gidget, the former Taco Bell spokes dog dies at age 15.

Happy birthday Dane!

Here's a really cool cake that I wish I had for Dane's birthday.